114: I’ve got this life to fix

Wanderson12 Comments on 114: I’ve got this life to fix
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I think this is some sort of allegory.

July 4
“We see the light everywhere but where we are, and chase after what we think we lack, only to find, humbly, it was with us all along.”

Mark Nepo
The Book of Awakening

After our second summer together I promised I wouldn’t miss the opportunity to spend another holiday together. I’ve missed six this year. I feel every one of those moments lost forever.

I blew it.

But now?

Now I got this life to fix.

Threw it all out in a ditch
Broken down when I was sick

Gotta build it back up brick by brick

I’ve got this.

Seven months. Seventy Moments. Seventy Bricks.

Everything is speculation.
I think is is some sort of allegory.
Someone stole the hammers. Resorted the the B.A.R.
Element Cards from Judith. Insightful.
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12 thoughts on “114: I’ve got this life to fix”

  1. Pingback: 118: Thoughts on Forgiveness and Clemency – Confessions of a Reformed Cad
  2. Pingback: 116: He Wants Forgiveness by Walking the Journey – Confessions of a Reformed Cad
  3. Spouse of a Sex Addict – I started writing this blog 1 year post DDay #1, and 8 months post DDay #2. It's been a difficult up and down journey, but writing has allowed me to make the most progress with healing and allowing myself to still love him.
    Spouse of a Sex Addict says:

    Hugs RC.

    1. Wanders – #Infidelity is an outcome of an unskillful coping mechanism, everything else is a story someone imagines. Sharing thoughts and letters with those the men and women that #betrayed their Loves, lives, and selves too. What you do today matters most. All anyone can do is own the experience and practice doing better.
      A Reformed Cad says:

      Thanks. It’s neither good or bad but what I make of it. I’m so glad to be free of my secrets and lies.

      1. Spouse of a Sex Addict – I started writing this blog 1 year post DDay #1, and 8 months post DDay #2. It's been a difficult up and down journey, but writing has allowed me to make the most progress with healing and allowing myself to still love him.
        Spouse of a Sex Addict says:

        You’re right, we should all look at things this way. It is what it is.

        I’m happy you’re free xo

      2. Wanders – #Infidelity is an outcome of an unskillful coping mechanism, everything else is a story someone imagines. Sharing thoughts and letters with those the men and women that #betrayed their Loves, lives, and selves too. What you do today matters most. All anyone can do is own the experience and practice doing better.
        A Reformed Cad says:

        I just wish C had some ☮️ and wasn’t still carrying so much resentment and anger…

        I understand my betrayal has a long tail but I do care and as long as she carries the hurt I will hurt for her too…

      3. Spouse of a Sex Addict – I started writing this blog 1 year post DDay #1, and 8 months post DDay #2. It's been a difficult up and down journey, but writing has allowed me to make the most progress with healing and allowing myself to still love him.
        Spouse of a Sex Addict says:

        I understand and I’m sorry you’re still hurting. I wish you were happy again and enjoying your new life, but this is going to take some time. You have a lot of pain PLUS guilt of her pain to process.

        Reach out whenever you need to talk RC, you are definitely not alone even though it feels to you like you are xo

      4. Wanders – #Infidelity is an outcome of an unskillful coping mechanism, everything else is a story someone imagines. Sharing thoughts and letters with those the men and women that #betrayed their Loves, lives, and selves too. What you do today matters most. All anyone can do is own the experience and practice doing better.
        A Reformed Cad says:

        Thanks SAA. I really don’t know what to do next. I’m just sitting and hurting. I just trying not to fix it. She isn’t a car. Our relationship wasn’t a machine…

        I don’t sit well…hence the Pursuer-Distancer Dynamic.

      5. Wanders – #Infidelity is an outcome of an unskillful coping mechanism, everything else is a story someone imagines. Sharing thoughts and letters with those the men and women that #betrayed their Loves, lives, and selves too. What you do today matters most. All anyone can do is own the experience and practice doing better.
        A Reformed Cad says:

        I would have preferred C not carry them either…I know what it was doing to me. I hate that now it is doing it to her…

  4. Walking the Journey – I'm a wife of 27+ years, a mother of three, a sister, a friend. This is my journey on healing after an affair. I'm full of sarcasm, humor and truth. Sharing the journey after my husbands affair, I'm hoping to rid myself of the demons and get a ticket out of crazy town that I'm living in.
    Walking the Journey says:

    You’ve got this life to fix.

    You’re on your way.

    I love the pictures.

    1. Wanders – #Infidelity is an outcome of an unskillful coping mechanism, everything else is a story someone imagines. Sharing thoughts and letters with those the men and women that #betrayed their Loves, lives, and selves too. What you do today matters most. All anyone can do is own the experience and practice doing better.
      A Reformed Cad says:

      Not every moment without C has been horrible. The horrible part is not having her to share those moments with…

      Does that make sense?

      1. Walking the Journey – I'm a wife of 27+ years, a mother of three, a sister, a friend. This is my journey on healing after an affair. I'm full of sarcasm, humor and truth. Sharing the journey after my husbands affair, I'm hoping to rid myself of the demons and get a ticket out of crazy town that I'm living in.
        Walking the Journey says:

        It does.

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