My lying included gaslighting C and K for years in order to maintain a firewall between them. There is no excuse for the behavior. There is more, but nuance is irrelevant here.
My behavior reflects my character, morals, and integrity in a way that demonstrates a sense of relationship entitlement. It also reflects a deeper issue related to my emotional cowardice about vulnerability, intimacy, trust, and perhaps a few other things I’m still sorting through.
I’m not sure what in the narrative could possibly make me look better.