33: Lies and Anger

In those moments when my Anger and Pride conspire to make up stories no amount of Truth will be heard. These stories, once accepted and internalized will blind me from any perspective other than my own. In this place I will always find things to confirm the bias of my angry pride.

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Thoughts on The Six Kinds of Loneliness by Pema Chödrön

As we all do who are angry, hurt, shame-filled and unskillful, “we automatically want to cover over the pain in one way or another,” adds Chödrön, “identifying with victory or victimhood.” I reality I have at times alternated between both rolls in an attempt to avoid what seems like desperate, despair-inducing loneliness. I can not blame C for K for that. I am very clear it is my lack of emotional skill, experience, and training.

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31: Drive by Shaming

Every time I hear one person tell another some variation of, “Staying in your partnership and trying to transform the conflict means you’re weak, a chump, abused, suffering from Stockholm syndrome, and your past history was just one big lie,” I think, “Wow! Who’s gaslighting who here?!”

Seriously?! How do you know?

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27: A Quickie

There are just some days, even 15 months later, where I still long to belong to you. I’m deeply, truly sorry I betrayed you, me, and us. I never wanted to be anywhere other than with you. Ever. You were the one. You were always the one.

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