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03: Survival in an Emotional Desert

​I grew up in a family that confused honesty with truth. While we were honest about our feelings and desires, we were fundamentally untruthful. We engaged in self-deception and lied to others in pursuit of comfort and to protect our privileged worldview. ​This difference is why, as Dr. Jeremy Sherman writes, “One can be completely […]

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02: Negotiating the Storm

I used to think that if I were “mature” enough or “good” enough, I could keep the world from burning. I traded marriages, jobs, and my own sense of self just to belong. But C-PTSD doesn’t give you a seat at the table; it just keeps you in a defensive crouch. This post is about my shift toward a new kind of honesty: judging people by what they do, not what they say. Because at the end of the day, impact trumps intention every time.

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09: Stories of Anger

Anger reminds me that when someone feels entitled to slam a door (or phone) to end a conversation, I am not obligated to open the door again for them. In this relationship, anger reminds me that surviving and flourishing means their silence and entitlement need not manipulate me.

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05: Say Anything…

In Cameron Crowe’s 1989 American teen romantic comedy-drama film Say Anything…, after Diane Court (Ione Skye) breaks up with John Cusack’s character, he stands outside her house loudly playing Peter Gabriel’s song, In Your Eyes, over a boombox. A modern version of Romeo’s heartfelt petition to Juliette. At the movie’s end, Court’s father goes to jail for […]

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