Of all the friendships I lost in those chaotic first few months, the one I miss the most (besides Painter) is Et Al.
Painter sat at the defendants table and announced with absolute certainty, "This is all your fault." And I wonder, "Which part is my fault?"
There must be some shame she carried about if a small group of people are willing to gaslight her by selling the story she is a victim and of my imagined narcissism. People never in our relationship. That has to be just as confusing for her just as it is for me.
As I was sitting in court yesterday listening to opening statements, listening to accusations, and answering questions, I was overcome with gratitude.