I finally had enough and recognized how idiot compassion for Painter was an obstacle to my growth and moving forward in my life.
It would be great if I could simply not do it again. If the wounds, trauma, pain, and anxiety hiding behind infidelity would simply go away. Disappear as if they never existed or as if they belonged to someone else.
Until Chef pointed out the danger and threats inherent in the actions of the Flying Monkeys I didn't fully appreciate the violent intentions lurking beneath their deeds and stories. I do now.
My experiences over the last several years has shown me how often my ego and pride need to be satiated before I will forgive someone I have decided has failed me. Even then I'm not sure I am forgiving as much as waiting to be right again.