I had hoped someone would love me enough to see me while knowing my struggles were never about them. My hope contained both a selfish expectation and deep longing.
Marriage is for old folks Old folks, not for me! One husband One wife Whaddya got? Two people sentenced for life!
Sure there are monsters, but in truth, most of what we are calling monster behavior is simply someone doing something stupid for stupid and innocent reasons. It's just poor judgment, not pathological. There are actually very few monsters.
Moving forward, "Are my choices and actions consistent with what I value or am I doing things simply because I are afraid of what will happen if I don't?" I need to know to move forward.