I was never confused about Painter’s decision to end the relationship. Although I was hurt and sad, I was never confused. I understood.
Painter is unsafe and dangerous for me because I struggle to see her for what she does. I sometimes forget how skillful -- and willing -- she is at getting other people to carry her water.
Nothing I do or say will create a sense of safety for people avoiding their own traumas. I cannot love someone enough to heal the wounds they are trying to avoid.