Love Letters to a Healing Heart
"Be not the slave of your own past – plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience, that shall explain and overlook the old." – Ralph Waldo Emerson
If I love you too often I’m conflict avoidant. An uncomfortable pattern with family relationships and romantic relationships.
There are reasons for that right?
Read More Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: Moving Closer (Part 5)Long before I have a conflict with others I have conflict within myself. Who wins? Who loses?
I create my own reality and therefore I’ve created the conflict.
Read More Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: Winners and Losers (Part 4)I see in the situation of infidelity, there will never be agreement about my intentions, motivations, or reasonableness but Buck is challenging us to discover what we can “create together.” To focus on the solution and not “fall into countless volleys of ‘you said…I said’ back and forth.” This unskillful approach “usually increases tension and decreases connection.”
Read More Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: Lawyer Mode (Part 3)Intentions don’t matter when u r bleeding out emotionally. There is no room for nuance when performing emotional triage on your identity and life.
Read More Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: Intentions, Not Excuses (Part 2)There was little room to learn how to express feelings, needs, and wants in a way that is vulnerable when it is met with derision, contempt, competing interests, and sarcasm. So I don’t think I was afraid of vulnerability as much as having a definition that equated it with weakness resulting in abuse.
Read More 25: Of Apples and BadasseryAs I read and begun to have an understanding of Brown’s intentions, I started to recognize how foreign these concepts are to my life…and why.
Like pain, I have to learn how to make conflict my friend.
Read More Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: The Pattern (Part 1)I packed up everything and moved to Pittsburgh last week. I don’t see myself ever going back. I don’t want to be here but none the less I am.
And that’s that…
Read More 24: And that’s thatI acted in ways involving plenty of shitheadery but it pales in comparison to the shit our imaginations make up to keep us locked in fear in an attempt to keep us safe.
Read More 20: A Letter from the Good DoctorMy marriage to K was a wonderful, meaningful relationship too. I never regretted marrying K but I have all too often regretted not making the most of it.
The question becomes then, “Why don’t you go back to your ex-wife?”
Read More 14: K