I still love Painter, and despite my best efforts--and hers--probably always will. However, breaking the pattern requires I stop pursuing the distancers in my life. As such, despite her stories I stopped pursuing Painter a long time ago. Today I pursue growth.
Nothing I do or say will create a sense of safety for people avoiding their own traumas. I cannot love someone enough to heal the wounds they are trying to avoid.
There are moments I'm often confused and bored by the stability in my relationship with Chef. I mean, if I'm not responsible for constantly attending to her ego and entitlement while driving connection, what am I suppose to do with all my free time?
I finally had enough and recognized how idiot compassion for Painter was an obstacle to my growth and moving forward in my life.