I was never confused about Painter’s decision to end the relationship. Although I was hurt and sad, I was never confused. I understood.
Painter is unsafe and dangerous for me because I struggle to see her for what she does. I sometimes forget how skillful -- and willing -- she is at getting other people to carry her water.
Recently I made a statement on my Twitter thread that I had a FB crush. Like so much of what I write on Twitter, it was intended as a comma on a particular moment. Perhaps, I shouldn't have said anything?
I still love Painter, and despite my best efforts--and hers--probably always will. However, breaking the pattern requires I stop pursuing the distancers in my life. As such, despite her stories I stopped pursuing Painter a long time ago. Today I pursue growth.