44: Passing Judgement

What I know now after nearly two years of counseling is no one deserves anything. We are not entitled to happiness, comfort, safety, or even the truth or honesty. We are owed nothing. The only right we have with other people is to leave. We choose to stay, we choose to leave, but it is still our choice.

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Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: Lawyer Mode (Part 3)

I see in the situation of infidelity, there will never be agreement about my intentions, motivations, or reasonableness but Buck is challenging us to discover what we can “create together.” To focus on the solution and not “fall into countless volleys of ‘you said…I said’ back and forth.” This unskillful approach “usually increases tension and decreases connection.”

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25: Of Apples and Badassery

There was little room to learn how to express feelings, needs, and wants in a way that is vulnerable when it is met with derision, contempt, competing interests, and sarcasm. So I don’t think I was afraid of vulnerability as much as having a definition that equated it with weakness resulting in abuse.

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