36: A Bit of This and That

Just as “…but I love you” isn’t a get out of jail free card following betrayal, “…but you cheated” isn’t either. In both cases it is a deflection from the things that matter.

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Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: Lawyer Mode (Part 3)

I see in the situation of infidelity, there will never be agreement about my intentions, motivations, or reasonableness but Buck is challenging us to discover what we can “create together.” To focus on the solution and not “fall into countless volleys of ‘you said…I said’ back and forth.” This unskillful approach “usually increases tension and decreases connection.”

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