05: Hidden Lessons

On Friday I helped a friend cater an event at a local brewery. For reasons I am still sussing out when we arrived I had a full blown anxiety attack. The first serious and debilitating one I’ve had in a very long, long time. I couldn’t focus. I couldn’t remember what people ordered. I couldn’t […]

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11: A Love Letter to the Betrayers: The Monsters

Sure there are monsters, but in truth, most of what we are calling monster behavior is simply someone doing something stupid for stupid and innocent reasons. It’s just poor judgment, not pathological.

There are actually very few monsters. 

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Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: Moving Closer (Part 5)

If I love you too often I’m conflict avoidant. An uncomfortable pattern with family relationships and romantic relationships.

There are reasons for that right?

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Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: Winners and Losers (Part 4)

Long before I have a conflict with others I have conflict within myself. Who wins? Who loses?

I create my own reality and therefore I’ve created the conflict.

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Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: Lawyer Mode (Part 3)

I see in the situation of infidelity, there will never be agreement about my intentions, motivations, or reasonableness but Buck is challenging us to discover what we can “create together.” To focus on the solution and not “fall into countless volleys of ‘you said…I said’ back and forth.” This unskillful approach “usually increases tension and decreases connection.”

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