We don't see the world as it is, we see it as we are― Anaïs Nin There isn't much to add at this point. I did what I did. Beatrix did what she did. Painter did what she did. Pretty monkeys are gonna fly. We each have our own reasons, stories, and imaginings about the others'... Continue Reading →
I say this knowing just as Painter or Beatrice are not responsible for my betrayal, lies, and secrets, I am not responsible for theirs. At the end of the day how each of us reacts or responds to others is about our relationship to our emotional selves. Essentially, the ways in which we rigidly grasp our stories, imaginings, and entitlements define how we react or respond to the world around us. It defines everything from our suffering to our joys.
When I say, "through this grief and loss, I gained far more than I lost," I recognize what I am saying. I may romanticize and idealize Painter and our relationship, but I also realize how much that relationship cost me and how much I gained now that it is over.