The narrative that has choked so many meaningful intimate moments in my life is the false narrative, “You deserve to be happy but if there is a conflict that must mean there is something wrong. Not with them, but with you.”Read More 30: Unicorns, Chumps, & Other Mythological Creatures
If I love you too often I’m conflict avoidant. An uncomfortable pattern with family relationships and romantic relationships.
There are reasons for that right?Read More Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: Moving Closer (Part 5)
Long before I have a conflict with others I have conflict within myself. Who wins? Who loses?
I create my own reality and therefore I’ve created the conflict.Read More Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: Winners and Losers (Part 4)
I see in the situation of infidelity, there will never be agreement about my intentions, motivations, or reasonableness but Buck is challenging us to discover what we can “create together.” To focus on the solution and not “fall into countless volleys of ‘you said…I said’ back and forth.” This unskillful approach “usually increases tension and decreases connection.”Read More Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: Lawyer Mode (Part 3)
Intentions don’t matter when u r bleeding out emotionally. There is no room for nuance when performing emotional triage on your identity and life.Read More Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: Intentions, Not Excuses (Part 2)
There was little room to learn how to express feelings, needs, and wants in a way that is vulnerable when it is met with derision, contempt, competing interests, and sarcasm. So I don’t think I was afraid of vulnerability as much as having a definition that equated it with weakness resulting in abuse.Read More 25: Of Apples and Badassery
As I read and begun to have an understanding of Brown’s intentions, I started to recognize how foreign these concepts are to my life…and why.
Like pain, I have to learn how to make conflict my friend.Read More Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: The Pattern (Part 1)
The young warrior asked Fear, “How can I defeat you?”
Fear actually answered.Read More Thoughts on Defeating Fear by Pema Chödrön
Oops! Wait! Let me take off my rose-colored glasses.Read More Thoughts on Unfounded Loyalty and Post #13: I’m Proud of ©
15: Three Conversations