53: I Slept with Her
I have throughout my life, on more than one occasion slept with a woman and left wondering why I did it.
Read More 53: I Slept with HerCategory: Autobiographical
39: Cowboy Up
After spending nearly a week here I’ve come to appreciate something I’ve lost in my currently migratory life, it feels nice to sleep under the watchful eye of Tonto and some singing cowboys.
Read More 39: Cowboy Up38: It Ain’t Me Babe
If you love someone you have to be open to hurting them and accept responsibility. If you love someone you have to be open to let them hurt you and accept that responsibility too. That is adulting. That is what it means to be vulnerable.
Read More 38: It Ain’t Me Babe42: Reset
Since this began I’ve made two commitments to myself. First of all, no more secrets. Secondly, I’d respect C’s personal space. This past weekend I broke the latter commitment and as a result created a secret.
Read More 42: Reset41: Projecting Pain
I followed her to learn but you cannot learn from the perpetually righteous and angry.
Read More 41: Projecting Pain40: Reflections at 100 Days
I’ve learned a lot about how people respond to betrayal and secret keeping.
Here is the bottom line: Love and stay. Love and leave. There is no wrong answer.
Regardless, love yourself.
Read More 40: Reflections at 100 Days39: My Ugly
I’ve asked her to accept and love me despite my ugly. I am committed to providing her the same acceptance and compassion. I can do this whether she loves me or not. Acting lovingly does not require anyone’s consent or approval.
The reality is at this point in my grieving process, I recognize there is no such thing as a moral high ground.
Read More 39: My Ugly37: April 22
I’m going to be in The City of Bridges next week. While in Pittsburgh every bridge will be a reminder of where I am heading next. It will serve as a reminder of where I have been and where I am going. I’m finished pursuing forgiveness, acceptance, or love, regardless of what my broken heart wants.
Read More 37: April 2236: Cleaning out the wound
“What is most healing about bearing witness to things exactly as they are, including my own part in my pain, is that when the voice of the pain fits the pain, there is no room for Distortion or Illusion. And this way, truth becomes a clean bandage that heals, keeping dirt out of the wound.” – Mark Nepo
Read More 36: Cleaning out the wound35.3: No More Mixed Messages: The Benefit of Hindsight (Part III)
Reading post after post about what happens post-discovery almost no one acts well. Everything in this situation is ugly. I made it uglier.
Read More 35.3: No More Mixed Messages: The Benefit of Hindsight (Part III)