The willingness to truly see Painter as who she is means seeing myself as I am in that pattern. And to see this truth is to live with remorse and regret, and experience sorrowful grief.
There are places I remain frozen in the past. An outcome of my marriage and the last several relationships is I feel as if I am sexually wrecked. I feel frozen between desire and doubt, analysis and paralysis, ambition and silence
I pretend things didn't happen that did. I confuse resiliency with the appearance of strength and cover with bravado. I pretend the losses don't hurt.
Certainly, things and people change - the simpatico of our needs can shift - but we have no chance of recognizing real change or loss if we cannot recognize and accept our inability at times to feel what we see... Being Human, we all have fogs roll in around our heart, and often, our lives... Continue Reading →