Category: Thoughts on Conflict Transformation

54: Stories of A Facebook Crush

Wanders

Recently I made a statement on my Twitter thread that I had a FB crush. Like so much of what I write on Twitter, it was intended as a comma on a particular moment. Perhaps, I shouldn’t have said anything?

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39: Responding to Smear Campaigns

Wanders

Until Chef pointed out the danger and threats inherent in the actions of the Flying Monkeys I didn’t fully appreciate the violent intentions lurking beneath their deeds and stories. I do now.

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19: A Love Letter to Betrayers – More on Anger

Wanders

Here is the reality, dig down a bit, and beneath all Painter’s cuntishness is pain. I know it isn’t personal, except where I make it so.

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24: Getting it Right

Wanders

“I’m here to get it right, not be right.” – Brene Brown

I acted dickishly. And by dickishly, I mean I responded with bravado to avoid being vulnerable to a woman I love whose anger still wounds me after all this time.

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Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: Moving Closer (Part 5)

Wanders

If I love you too often I’m conflict avoidant. An uncomfortable pattern with family relationships and romantic relationships.

There are reasons for that right?

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Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: Winners and Losers (Part 4)

Wanders

Long before I have a conflict with others I have conflict within myself. Who wins? Who loses?

I create my own reality and therefore I’ve created the conflict.

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Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: Lawyer Mode (Part 3)

Wanders

I see in the situation of infidelity, there will never be agreement about my intentions, motivations, or reasonableness but Buck is challenging us to discover what we can “create together.” To focus on the solution and not “fall into countless volleys of ‘you said…I said’ back and forth.” This unskillful approach “usually increases tension and decreases connection.”

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Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: Intentions, Not Excuses (Part 2)

Wanders

Intentions don’t matter when u r bleeding out emotionally. There is no room for nuance when performing emotional triage on your identity and life.

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Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: The Pattern (Part 1)

Wanders

As I read and begun to have an understanding of Brown’s intentions, I started to recognize how foreign these concepts are to my life…and why.

Like pain, I have to learn how to make conflict my friend.

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