Tag: boundaries

39: Responding to Smear Campaigns

Wanders

Until Chef pointed out the danger and threats inherent in the actions of the Flying Monkeys I didn’t fully appreciate the violent intentions lurking beneath their deeds and stories. I do now.

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19: A Love Letter to Betrayers – More on Anger

Wanders

Here is the reality, dig down a bit, and beneath all Painter’s cuntishness is pain. I know it isn’t personal, except where I make it so.

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Thoughts on Pema Chödrön’s Curious about Existence

Wanders

There was a great deal of beautiful qualities in my relationship with my ex…but she is not the flower. She is not the reason it was beautiful. She is not the blossom or the tree. Our life was beautiful and it bloomed because that was the season and we both contributed to the season..

Our life together blossomed because it was our choice. Now it’s time for a different choice.

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Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: Moving Closer (Part 5)

Wanders

If I love you too often I’m conflict avoidant. An uncomfortable pattern with family relationships and romantic relationships.

There are reasons for that right?

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Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: Winners and Losers (Part 4)

Wanders

Long before I have a conflict with others I have conflict within myself. Who wins? Who loses?

I create my own reality and therefore I’ve created the conflict.

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Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: Lawyer Mode (Part 3)

Wanders

I see in the situation of infidelity, there will never be agreement about my intentions, motivations, or reasonableness but Buck is challenging us to discover what we can “create together.” To focus on the solution and not “fall into countless volleys of ‘you said…I said’ back and forth.” This unskillful approach “usually increases tension and decreases connection.”

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Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: Intentions, Not Excuses (Part 2)

Wanders

Intentions don’t matter when u r bleeding out emotionally. There is no room for nuance when performing emotional triage on your identity and life.

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25: Of Apples and Badassery

Wanders

There was little room to learn how to express feelings, needs, and wants in a way that is vulnerable when it is met with derision, contempt, competing interests, and sarcasm. So I don’t think I was afraid of vulnerability as much as having a definition that equated it with weakness resulting in abuse.

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