C and I always said to each other: no matter the problem as long as we’re together we can overcome anything. Of course, I said a lot of things. So did she.
When together and the transmission on the RV went outside Owatonna in the little town of Hope we figured it out and made it to Omaha together. When we ran out of gas in Colorado we laughed and made the best of it while some stranger from a restaurant gas station brought us two jugs full of gasoline. Tornado storms in Spring Green were adventures together.
When we were apart is when the problems always happened. I drove the RV into a tree limb. C tore the rim off the trailer because she forgot to remove the wheel lock. She lost a trailer tire outside of Chicago. I always forgot to book a hotel. I slept with my ex-wife.
If you follow my writings you know April 22 is the moving on date. It’s the accountability date I set making me responsible to do what needs to be done next even if I don’t really know what that means.
Of course, I’m still grieving the loss of C’s trust, love, respect, patience, acceptance, and Partnership. I will still feel the anguish of knowing I betrayed her and our life together after April 22. I will always carry the remorse, guilt, and shame but I have no emotional on/off switch. There is simply the emotional dimmer that over time sets the mood and will eventually fade to black.
Of course, there will be moments where my life without her will cross paths with the life with her.
Route 66. Hot air balloons. Neon signs. Americana. Thrift stores. Motorhomes. Art shows. Date nights. Chocolate cake. Sexy time. Snowstorms. Supermoon Airstreams.
Divannis. Epic. Minnesota Music Cafe. Owl Cafe. Dog House. Red Oaks II. Boots Cabins. JJs. Goodwill. Bill’s Garage. Walmart parking lots. Brains and Donuts. Driving cross country. Laumeier.
Wisconsin. Nebraska. Illinois. Minnesota. Iowa. Oklahoma. Indiana. Kansas. Missouri. South Dakota. Colorado. New Mexico. Wyoming. Arkansas. Tennessee. Ohio. Michigan.
Minneapolis. Madison. Spring Green. Kansas City. Dallas. Bryan. Saint Louis. San Antonio. Deep Ellum. Albuquerque. Texarkana. St Louis. St Paul. Broad Ripple. Indianapolis. Columbus. Columbia. Kalamazoo. St Ignace. Denver. Memphis. Omaha. North Platte. Lebanon. Carthage. Luck.
I feel C everywhere and my heart will stay with her a bit longer but the rest of me has to move on down the road.