There was little room to learn how to express feelings, needs, and wants in a way that is vulnerable when it is met with derision, contempt, competing interests, and sarcasm. So I don't think I was afraid of vulnerability as much as having a definition that equated it with weakness resulting in abuse.
SpaghettiSam asks, "What has changed in this person so that the next time a crisis occurs or they aren’t feeling loved and special they don’t opt to go fuck another person?" Good question.
125: Once a cheater... "So often we want to take this behavior and now reduce the entire person to just that." - Esther Perel