90.2: A Perspective on C (Part 2 of 2)

I’m still left to guess at C’s motivations. However, at this point at least I have some perspective and knowledge.

90.1: A Perspective on C (Part 1 of 2)

I want C to be happy, joyous, and free. If not with me, then where ever she is and with whoever she chooses. I want for her what I want for myself. All I ever want was for her to be more fully herself.

89: Road Warrior

Many people would run for their own reasons. Many people run from their humiliations and anxiety. Me? I’m staying to face my humiliations, anxiety, and failure.

That takes courage and honesty.

88: K

I made the decision to spend time with K. My betrayal of C, and the subsequent behaviors and the betrayal of K are inexorably linked. One betrayal cannot exist without the other.

Friday’s Guest Writer: Goodbye (03)

Goodbye by Friday’s Guest Writer (03)

20 months you were in MY husband’s thoughts and heart. I’ve ran through so many emotions and feelings towards you. Today I’m left with pity. And nausea. And fury.

65.9: 2 Days: Magic Brain Hertz

2 Days: It’s all Hertz

The justification and rationalization for hating C are always easy to find. The brain is a rationalizing, justifying, negative thought manufacturing machine broadcasting thoughts at 50 hertz.

65.5: 6 Days: Moving On

6 Days: Moving On

C and I always said to each other: no matter the problem as long as we’re together we can overcome anything.

Of course, I said a lot of things. So did she.

65.3: 8 Days: Thoughts on How More Secrets and Lies Destroy Relationships by Darlene Lancer

This article is without a doubt, the most accurate, and thorough description of my thinking, actions, feelings, and perception of self I have found about the consequences, pain, and anxiety of being tied down by secrets and lies.

65.3: 8 Days: Thoughts on How More Secrets and Lies Destroy Relationships by Darlene Lancer

65.2: 9 Days: It’s all speculation

Vaccums suck.

As such, it is good to have someone with experience offer me some insight…even if neither of us know the whole story and are speculating based on our own unique pain.