Friday’s Guest Writer: Goodbye (03)



Everyone’s situation is different but the anger is real. As such, one of my goals is to provide men and women, on all three sides of the triangle, a place to give voice to their fears, joys, anguish, victories, and failings. It helps me learn.

Within limits, I’m open to posting anything from anyone on Friday’s.

I’m trying to keep it anonymous. The goal is not to further humiliate or shame anyone. There is enough in this situation already.

Let the pain have meaning.

About the Author

My name is A. My husband cheated on me. How many times? More than one, less than twenty. I think. Probably. Truth be told, I don’t know. There are seven I know of. I’ve confronted all but two. One won’t respond, and the other, frankly scares me a little.

I think this last affair really opened his eyes that he is going to lose me if he doesn’t get it together. So now it’s one day at a time. Excruciating some days.

In order to clear some of the horrible clutter from my brain, I’ve written a short letter to this final OW. X.


Dear X:

You are not special or unique. There were other women before you, but you will be the last. I see the shame and humiliation in my husband’s eyes when I’ve tried to talk to him about the crushing, total pain you two brought into my world. The destruction of any feeling of safety I harbored.

It isn’t fair. I waited 35 years to marry this man. You first contacted him the week of our honeymoon. Of course, I didn’t know about you for about six months. But you’ve been in the middle of our marriage from the very beginning.

I found out about you looking at our cell phone bill. I had gone online to pay it, and noticed it was about sixty pages long. I had no idea that information like numbers called and texted as well as photos exchanged were detailed. What a treasure trove of information.

I was in the middle of a very stressful store grand opening and didn’t have time to really deal with this mess. I sent my husband a screenshot of one days worth of texts. Over 900 starting at about 6:00 a.m. and ending about the exact time I clocked out of my job. “Our phone was hacked” ……. Did he really expect me to believe that? But again, I didn’t have time. The following week I played a really strong bluff. I was going to the AT&T store. With my ID they would show me any photos so I could prosecute whoever “hacked” our phone. I shared this info with F. MY husband. In about 20 minutes he called me. I could hear the tears. He asked me to come by and talk to him before I went to the AT&T office.

Your contact had gone from chatting on, to texting, and I didn’t know it yet but you actually met my husband at hotels and had sex with him. He says three times, but I do not believe that number for a second.

I asked him if he loved you. I thought he would vomit. “Hell no” was his reply. That made me feel a smidge better, but again I didn’t believe him.

Twenty months you were in MY husband’s thoughts and heart. I’ve ran through so many emotions and feelings towards you. Today I’m left with pity. And nausea. And fury.

I hope my story may shine a light on predatory skanky women like you. That delight in taking married men outside their vows.

Lastly and finally I want you to know that you are dismissed. You have NO place in OUR lives. I will not waste another moment worrying about you.