65.2: 9 Days: It’s all speculation

Dolly Allen: Do you think your relationship with C was a rebound relationship?

Me: For her or for me?

Recently, I took the risk to detail the secrets and lies of my betrayal in a general way. The feedback from friends and foes alike has been helpful.

Dolly Allen and Not Your Average Girl offered me some insightful feedback and I greatly appreciate their thoughts. Although both admit they are speculating they have helped me better see myself and my blind spots. If you aren’t following them you should. They have two excellent POV’s on some of the same issues.

Although I don’t think they’d necessarily agree for different reasons.

Dolly went one step further and made the time to share our conversation and add some thoughts. You can check it out here or by clicking the link below. I really appreciate her courage and her willingness to lean into the pain and fight for her love, life, and family. She clearly is doing the hard work and I admire her honesty and commitment.

I’m posting this here for others to consider. She makes some good points and the comments on her post may be of benefit to individuals struggling with one type of betrayal or another. She asked me if I thought my “relationship with C was a rebound relationship?” It’s a good question and I need to give some thought. It’s entirely possible I was C’s rebound. Maybe she was mine. I told her I’d give it some thought and wrote on it later.

In the meantime read the story at the link below.

I will say, to her credit, Dolly acknowledges she is speculating and isn’t sure because she doesn’t have all the facts. However, because C has chosen not to speak to me in 140 days everything I’ve done to make amends, take responsibility, and be open to her is based on speculating. I don’t have any facts either.

Vacuums suck.

As such, it is good to have someone with experience offer me some insight…even if neither of us knows the whole story and are speculating based on our own unique pain.

The Queen Is In

There is an exhilaration we feel when we first start seeing someone we look at as a serious potential partner.  Commonly referred to as the honeymoon stagewhen everything is exciting, fun, loving, we have a habit of focusing on the good and dismissing the small irritating things our new partner may do.  We are learning new things every day, creating memories and building the foundation of a relationship.  We show our best sides to each other, idealize each other and can’t wait to spend more time together.  We hardly fight, as everything is coming up roses.

In the alternative, there are rebound relationships where we jump from one relationship to the next.

“When you’re hurting from a past relationship and want to avoid feeling the pain, you jump into another one right away—that’s a classic rebound relationship,” says relationship expert Audrey Hope. Rebound relationships are defined by more than…

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