141: It’s not about me

Wanderson7 Comments on 141: It’s not about me
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Fall in Love

The mind secrets thoughts like the body secrets enzymes.

– Tara Brach

Reminders to self about her post: It’s not about me, it’s not about me, it’s not about me, it’s not about me, it’s not about me, it’s not about me, it’s not about me, it’s not about me, it’s not about me, it’s not about me, it’s not about me, it’s not about me, it’s not about me, it’s not about me, and it’s not about me.

It’s not about me. Unless she tells me it’s about me.

It’s about her heart.

I miss her. Sometimes I would just sit in the living room and watch her paint. In those quiet moments, I loved her more than I knew was possible to love anyone. I know she has been struggling with creating. I hope this is the start of her uncorking her creative bottle.

It’s time.

Also, it’s time to change the oil.

My life in symbolism.

 

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7 thoughts on “141: It’s not about me”

  1. Vegas – Las Vegas – I use to play in Vegas. All walks of life are welcome here. There is no judgement. You are free to roam about the cabin of my blog 💚
    Vegas says:

    That car tho!! I love it

    Any chance of reconciliation? Or is it pretty much a done deal?

    I gather from your writings you cheated and she got too damaged and left? Unless I’m wrong. 🤔

    1. Wanders – #Infidelity is an outcome of an unskillful coping mechanism, everything else is a story someone imagines. Sharing thoughts and letters with those the men and women that #betrayed their Loves, lives, and selves too. What you do today matters most. All anyone can do is own the experience and practice doing better.
      A Reformed Cad says:

      I cheated. I lied. I kept secrets.

      She asked me to leave. I left.

      I’ve done what I can. I’m doing what needs done. I’m working through my grieving. I’m being open and honest. I’m still bonded to her and Us. I’m working on minimizing change for the first year and grieving the death if this relationship without using people, places or things to avoid the pain.

      I wouldn’t take me back unless there was significant change…that relationship is dead. A lot of things worth replanting but we need a spring for that and we are still stuck in this winter…maybe indefinitely. I’m working on thawing my heart…and life.

      I miss her.

      I’m living. She’s living.

      No change than no chance.

      1. Vegas – Las Vegas – I use to play in Vegas. All walks of life are welcome here. There is no judgement. You are free to roam about the cabin of my blog 💚
        Vegas says:

        I understand what you mean. How long were you guys together? Sounds like years. And how long ago did she ask you to leave? I’m trying to work out the timeline in my head lol.

        I hope you can learn to move on and possibly seek another lover in the far future when you’re heeled and ready. ❤️ this relationship may be the end, doesn’t mean it’s the end of all tho.

      2. Wanders – #Infidelity is an outcome of an unskillful coping mechanism, everything else is a story someone imagines. Sharing thoughts and letters with those the men and women that #betrayed their Loves, lives, and selves too. What you do today matters most. All anyone can do is own the experience and practice doing better.
        A Reformed Cad says:

        Seven years. 5 living together.

        I’m in no rush. I’ve tried dating. I failed. Too many ghosts in the bed and in my heart

        I’m just taking it one day at a time. I got this…whatever this actually is…

      3. Wanders – #Infidelity is an outcome of an unskillful coping mechanism, everything else is a story someone imagines. Sharing thoughts and letters with those the men and women that #betrayed their Loves, lives, and selves too. What you do today matters most. All anyone can do is own the experience and practice doing better.
        A Reformed Cad says:

        The day after Thanksgiving, 10 months ago this week… Not that I’m counting or anything… But it’s kind of like a birth date at this point. Forever etched into my mind… One life ends another one is born. That’s how I’m trying to look at it.

    2. Wanders – #Infidelity is an outcome of an unskillful coping mechanism, everything else is a story someone imagines. Sharing thoughts and letters with those the men and women that #betrayed their Loves, lives, and selves too. What you do today matters most. All anyone can do is own the experience and practice doing better.
      A Reformed Cad says:

      Also, the car is where I discover my joy right now.

      1. Vegas – Las Vegas – I use to play in Vegas. All walks of life are welcome here. There is no judgement. You are free to roam about the cabin of my blog 💚
        Vegas says:

        I’m all for it! Lol it’s nice!

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