When I spend resources trying to avoid the painful moment I am imagining, I will never know how to respond to the actual experience. Everything becomes a story about a fix to a broken fix to another useless hole. These responses to my discomfort only create a new narrative of pain for myself and others. I avoid living in an impermanent moment out of fear.
"I'm here to get it right, not be right." - Brene Brown I acted dickishly. And by dickishly, I mean I responded with bravado to avoid being vulnerable to a woman I love whose anger still wounds me after all this time.
These feelings do not mean what I think they mean. Pain is not the enemy. These stories I imagine about how I feel are just opinions with embellishments.
I’m looking to answer the central question Dr. Madden asks in her book, After A Good Man Cheats, “Do u really want ur relationship back, or r u simply panicking & doing the things u think u r supposed to do?"