"Be not the slave of your own past – plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience, that shall explain and overlook the old." – Ralph Waldo Emerson
108: Never Not Broken
The weight of all of these losses and feelings finally broke me this week. I feel nothing but sadness, loneliness, despair, and emptiness today.
I have nothing to offer anyone. Not even myself. I’m hollow now.
Read More 108: Never Not Broken106: Hope and Envy
I want to be done caring or remembering or feeling. Yet hope and romanticism continue mocking my desire to let go. They dances through my dreams.
Read More 107: Hope and EnvyI’m still not sure I have a real answer why I betrayed C. I’m not sure I will ever be able to provide a personally or socially satisfactory answer to the question.
Read More 60: WhyI’ve made my intentions clear. I will love you intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally.
Read More 52: IntentionI’m not pursuing approval, forgiveness, acceptance or understanding. I’m pursuing my life.
Read More 33: Thought on the Pursuer-Distancer Dynamic (Part 2)It is entirely likely she looked at the totality of our relationship and decided there was nothing of value to salvage.
As such, ghosting makes perfect sense.
No wonder I’m not sleeping.
Read More 14: Pros and Cons of a Disappearing ActI use to believe some things were best kept private…but it is precisely the act of secret keeping that allowed my betrayal to fester so long. When the lies, secrets, and betrayal detonated on our lives twenty-eight days ago I was both sickened and relieved. The secret had been weighing down my soul and my […]
Read More 01: Ducks and other quacks