64: Reminder2Self – Vengeance
I was reminded again today that the consequences of my betrayal, secret keeping, and escalating series of lies casts a long shadow.
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127: Monkeys in the Middle
127: Monkeys in the Middle
I’ve gone to lengths not to put people in the middle of my situation. I don’t want anyone else to carry my water.
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126: Grrr…
126: Grrr…
The pain will never go away. I will only find perspective for the pain. It is a part of me now. To hate the pain is to hate myself; to love myself is to love my pain.
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123: Thoughts on The Onus of Healing by A Couples Journey of Recovery from Sex Addiction
123: The Onus of Healing by A Couples Journey of Recovery from Sex Addiction
I need – no I WANT, someone that will work through the hard and Ugly things and not run away because they are scared or angry or shallow.
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108: Never Not Broken
108: Never Not Broken
The weight of all of these losses and feelings finally broke me this week. I feel nothing but sadness, loneliness, despair, and emptiness today.
I have nothing to offer anyone. Not even myself. I’m hollow now.
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101.5: Unringing the Bell (Epilogue)
101.5: Unringing the Bell (5 of 5) – Epilogue
As my life with C fades to a distant and ringing echo I will move forward with intention. The lessons remain.
I’m excited about the possibilities.
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101.1: Unringing the Bell (Part 1 of 5)
101: Unringing the Bell (1 of 5) – No excuse
There is not a way back after the first act. I cannot unring the bell no matter how many lies I tell or secrets I keep about my betrayal.
And I had many of both.
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81:Thoughts on Ripping up the old contract by A Couples Journey of Recovery from Sex Addiction
“I’ve rightfully felt anger, rage, hurt, trauma, disrespect, tricked and disgust because he fucked other women – plain and simple – and him fucking other women was NOT in my plan.”
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