64: Reminder2Self – Vengeance

I was reminded again today that the consequences of my betrayal, secret keeping, and escalating series of lies casts a long shadow.

138: Slut

Labeling someone a slut – or a narcissist, predator, or whore – isn’t rape, but the emotional intentions are the same. It’s about taking someone’s Power.

138: Slut

Labeling someone a slut – or a narcissist, predator, or whore – isn’t rape, but the emotional intentions are the same. It’s about taking someone’s Power.

127: Monkeys in the Middle

I’ve gone to lengths not to put people in the middle of my situation. I don’t want anyone else to carry my water.

126: Grrr…

The pain will never go away. I will only find perspective for the pain. It is a part of me now. To hate the pain is to hate myself; to love myself is to love my pain.

123: Thoughts on The Onus of Healing by A Couples Journey of Recovery from Sex Addiction

123: The Onus of Healing by A Couples Journey of Recovery from Sex Addiction

I need – no I WANT, someone that will work through the hard and Ugly things and not run away because they are scared or angry or shallow.

108: Never Not Broken

The weight of all of these losses and feelings finally broke me this week. I feel nothing but sadness, loneliness, despair, and emptiness today.

I have nothing to offer anyone. Not even myself. I’m hollow now.

101.5: Unringing the Bell (Epilogue)

101.5: Unringing the Bell (5 of 5) – Epilogue

As my life with C fades to a distant and ringing echo I will move forward with intention. The lessons remain.

I’m excited about the possibilities.

101.1: Unringing the Bell (Part 1 of 5)

101: Unringing the Bell (1 of 5) – No excuse

There is not a way back after the first act. I cannot unring the bell no matter how many lies I tell or secrets I keep about my betrayal.

And I had many of both.

81:Thoughts on Ripping up the old contract by A Couples Journey of Recovery from Sex Addiction

“I’ve rightfully felt anger, rage, hurt, trauma, disrespect, tricked and disgust because he fucked other women – plain and simple – and him fucking other women was NOT in my plan.”