17: Why Rock Bottom is a Powerful Place

“It’s easy for me to have an opinion, it’s not my pain.” – A True Friend

Reading Lisa Arends’s story, Why Rock Bottom is a Powerful Place, I recognize the struggle is not allowing others to define the bottom, or the solution, in terms of their own experiences. Everyone brings their own biases, prejudices, ignorance, and experience to other people’s pain.

Arrogance tries to convince us we have some special insight into the inner workings of other people. All too often we make value judgments about what should be the consequences and punishment in situations we are only tangentially involved with. We’re all experts in someone else’s pain and motivations.

caged

Someone recently suggested, I need to take responsibility for what I did, but when pressed for what that means, because I’m willing to listen to their ideas, they had nothing to offer but ghost stories. Which reminds me of the old adage, “We are either part of the solution or part of the problem.”

One of the most difficult aspects of my life today is not to let other people’s ignorance, fears, or anger define my identity. As such, their opinion of me is none of my business, even when their grandiosity says it is.

I have great qualities and bring great passions to my relationships. I’m curious about people and places. I like to explore and encourage people. I understand what a Partnership is supposed to be even when I fall short. I’m willing to learn, change, and grow.

I also have flaws. Some are ugly. None are monstrous. I’m not perfect and that means I’m human too.

For some people that will never be enough.

Lessons From the End of a Marriage

Rock Bottom.

A place that brings dread.

That no one would choose to visit.

And yet it is also a place of mysterious power.

That allows us to tap into the power within ourselves.

Because when you’re at Rock Bottom you have…

Nothing to Lose

In one moment, I lost my husband, my money, my dogs, my home, my health and almost my sanity. I went from a middle class suburbanite to someone who was technically homeless (at least according to the 2010 census) and could fit all of her belongings in her car.

I realized during that period how much I had become attached to those things in my life. And how, in many cases, I had assigned them more weight than they actually carried.

Rock Bottom is a time of non-attachment. Of acceptance of the non-permanence of life and our own locus of control.

Nothing to Fear

My…

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2 thoughts on “17: Why Rock Bottom is a Powerful Place

  1. “One of the most difficult aspects of my life today is not to let other people’s ignorance, fears, or anger define my identity. As such, their opinion of me is none of my business, even when their grandiosity says it is.” Love this!!!

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