112: @Dawn_ByTheCreek asks, “What am I doing?”
I’ve asked myself that question thousands of times a day over the years of my betrayal. I’ve asked myself that questions a thousand times a day since the reveal.
Read More 112: Thoughts on What am I doing? by Walking the Journey
108: Never Not Broken
The weight of all of these losses and feelings finally broke me this week. I feel nothing but sadness, loneliness, despair, and emptiness today.
I have nothing to offer anyone. Not even myself. I’m hollow now.
Read More 108: Never Not Broken
105: The Art of Love
My heart still sings out to her like an optimistic songbird hoping she will sing back.
There is only silence.
Read More 105: The Art of Love
103: Three Conversations
Love and leave. Love and stay. There is no wrong answer.
What would you do? Do you have the courage to move through the pride and face the pain?
Read More 103: Three Conversations
101: Unringing the Bell (1 of 5) – No excuse
There is not a way back after the first act. I cannot unring the bell no matter how many lies I tell or secrets I keep about my betrayal.
And I had many of both.
Read More 101.1: Unringing the Bell (Part 1 of 5)
Holding Back by Fridays Guest Writer (04)
Did my affair happen because of loneliness or fate? Maybe due to love of sex or to my lack of sex. I’m not sure which drove me to cheat; but to this day, I still cheat and have no regrets.
Read More Holding Back by Fridays Guest Writer (04)
90.2: A Perspective on C (Part 2 of 2)
I’m still left to guess at C’s motivations. However, at this point at least I have some perspective and knowledge.
Read More 90.2: A Perspective on C (Part 2 of 2)
90.1: A Perspective on C (Part 1 of 2)
I want C to be happy, joyous, and free. If not with me, then where ever she is and with whoever she chooses. I want for her what I want for myself. All I ever want was for her to be more fully herself.
Read More 90.1: A Perspective on C (Part 1 of 2)
89: Road Warrior
Many people would run for their own reasons. Many people run from their humiliations and anxiety. Me? I’m staying to face my humiliations, anxiety, and failure.
That takes courage and honesty.
Read More 89: Road Warrior
Goodbye by Friday’s Guest Writer (03)
20 months you were in MY husband’s thoughts and heart. I’ve ran through so many emotions and feelings towards you. Today I’m left with pity. And nausea. And fury.
Read More Friday’s Guest Writer: Goodbye (03)