15: Three Conversations

1. Shame
2. Hope
3. Grieving

Thoughts on Those Who’ve Fallen Through by Mark Nepo via Pathwriter

Let’s not bury the lead: I’ve been struggling the last 12 days with depression and yesterday morning I woke up actively contemplating suicide.

02: Dig If You Will The Picture

I’ve tried not to make irrecoverable or forced errors. I’ve tried to not run from my pain and grieving but protecting the past from C’s wrath isn’t my responsibility either.

153.02 The Pattern (Part 2)

I adulted…and I can do that because I’m dealing with my shit, my traumas, my decisions, and my consequences. I blame no one.

153.01: The Pattern (Part 1)

Tonight, with Dr. Deb’ wisdom, Fire and Star’s love, Dr. Madden’s writings, a bit of Elle insight, and a whole lot of © and Patsy III’s theatrics tonight, I think I successfully buried the remains of our relationship at sea…actually a lake.

150: The Fall

Over the last 10 months, I’ve had a fall (both literally and symbolically). And now I need to let go of the beautiful sorrow and sadness that has been hanging on. I need to drop the things that have served their purpose…

149: Thoughts on They Cheat Because Their Souls Were Starving (Oh Brother) by SpaghettiSam

SpaghettiSam asks, “What has changed in this person so that the next time a crisis occurs or they aren’t feeling loved and special they don’t opt to go fuck another person?”

Good question.

136: Forgotten

I’ve spent much time and energy focused on my Ugly and working through my pain and loss. As such, I’ve stopped examining what was beautiful and good. It has created a myopic and unbalanced perspective on Our lives.

127: Monkeys in the Middle

I’ve gone to lengths not to put people in the middle of my situation. I don’t want anyone else to carry my water.

113: Thoughts on All that we are not by Mark Nepo

113: All that we are not

You cannot be vulnerable and safe. Vulnerability is (risk + uncertainty + emotional openness). By definition, safety is to be free of risk and uncertainty. They just cannot exist in the same spiritual space.