Love Letters to a Healing Heart
"Be not the slave of your own past – plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience, that shall explain and overlook the old." – Ralph Waldo Emerson
The criminalization of infidelity encourages more secret keeping. Criminalization behavior won’t stop infidelities from happening but it does reinforce shame forcing more hiding, trickle truth, and secret keeping.
Read More 46: This is the power of shameI awoke from a nightmare at 4 am. C was dating again. Dancing with another man. Laughing at me. Mocking me. Flashing the smile I love towards another man. Ignoring me but still watching me.
I woke up jealous. Tearful. Heartbroken.
Read More 44: JealousyI’ve asked her to accept and love me despite my ugly. I am committed to providing her the same acceptance and compassion. I can do this whether she loves me or not. Acting lovingly does not require anyone’s consent or approval.
The reality is at this point in my grieving process, I recognize there is no such thing as a moral high ground.
Read More 39: My UglyI’m not pursuing approval, forgiveness, acceptance or understanding. I’m pursuing my life.
Read More 33: Thought on the Pursuer-Distancer Dynamic (Part 2)I have to work on separating my infidelity from my identity. Separating the act from the actors. Which sounds simple but I’ve been living with this lie for a long time and to a large extent, it has been my identity. Decisions, choices, and actions were constantly influenced by a desire to keep the secret. […]
Read More 26: Hiding in plain siteRuminations are the shallowest of thoughts. There is nothing insightful found in blaming, anger, and resentment. They lead to nothing but bitterness and cynicism. Power and self-respect are not found there.
Read More 25: Mixed MessagesThis is the gift of infidelity: it makes you stare into the mirror and see all the truths about yourself. Some are ugly. Some are bad. Some are good. All of them are important.
Read More 23: Getting PerspectiveHow can I hope for her forgiveness when I cannot forgive myself?
Read More 22: BrokenThis is the gift of infidelity: it makes you stare into the mirror and see all the truths about yourself. Some are ugly. Some are bad. Some are good. All of them are important. Unfortunately, early in the process of addressing an infidelity, getting perspective is like drinking from a firehose.
Read More 21: Drinking from the firehoseOriginally posted on Lessons From the End of a Marriage:
Being abandoned sucks. The shock alone is enough to stop your heart. And then, once it starts beating again, all you want to to is yell at your so-called partner who thought it was acceptable to simply walk away with no notice and no dialog. It…
Love Letters to a Healing Heart 
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