60: Why

I’m still not sure I have a real answer why I betrayed C. I’m not sure I will ever be able to provide a personally or socially satisfactory answer to the question.

58: After the storm

She is doing the best she can based on what she knows how to do. If she had experienced different things she would have done things differently.

Her behavior isn’t personal. For a long time I took it that way.

57: Anxiety Disorder is a Thing

In truth, I have an anxiety disorder. Anxiety has been killing me for 123 days. Chest pains, sleeplessness, nightmares, and fear constantly hound me. The trolling certainly hasn’t helped.

I hate admitting it is an issue. “Anxiety is for women. Real men don’t get anxious,” my Pride tells me.

56: A Fool’s Tale: Betrayal (Redux)

Originally posted on Love Letters to a Healing Heart:
Vile and ingrate! too late thou shalt repent. The base Injustice thou hast done my Love: Yes, thou shalt know, spite of thy past Distress, And all those Ills which thou so long hast mourn’d; Heav’n has no Rage, like Love to Hatred turn’d, Nor Hell a Fury, like a Woman scorn‘d.…

55: 22 Days – A quick summary of my failures

I’ve made a lot mistakes since discovery day, 126 days ago. I may not be doing it perfectly but I’ve been doing it.

22 days.

54: A Fool’s Tale: Betrayal

Vile and ingrate! too late thou shalt repent. The base Injustice thou hast done my Love: Yes, thou shalt know, spite of thy past Distress, And all those Ills which thou so long hast mourn’d; Heav’n has no Rage, like Love to Hatred turn’d, Nor Hell a Fury, like a Woman scorn’d.

52: Intention

I’ve made my intentions clear. I will love you intentionally, extravagantly, unconditionally.

51: The Things I Carry: Anxiety Disorder

I have an #anxietydisorder. I hate admitting it is an issue. “Anxiety is for women. Real men don’t get anxious,” my Pride tells me.

50: Queen of My Heart

What would it say about me if I could pretend it didn’t matter to me? What would it say if I just walked away from her and hated her back. I’ve earned her hate.

I know what I did.

No.

I’ll take all the slings and arrows.

49: A Review: Day 22 – Guessing

Guessing creates drama. Guessing will screw with people’s heads. Don’t make people guess what you want and need.