97.1: I Contain Multitudes (1 of 2)
We are all self-made blind to the kaleidoscope of wants, needs, and desires of the people around us. To see them more fully is to see ourselves more truthfully and honestly.
Read More 97.1: I Contain Multitudes (Part 1 of 2)
96.1: Join Me (WTF was I thinking?)
Reading what I write is your choice. I’m not responsible for your choices, thoughts, or feelings. It is why I lied and kept secrets. I’m responsible for telling you the truth and being honest.
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96: Join Me!
As I approach the six month benchmark the next step is to make my writing private. I hope you will subscribe by email or Wordpress.
Read More 96: Join Me
90.2: A Perspective on C (Part 2 of 2)
I’m still left to guess at C’s motivations. However, at this point at least I have some perspective and knowledge.
Read More 90.2: A Perspective on C (Part 2 of 2)
90.1: A Perspective on C (Part 1 of 2)
I want C to be happy, joyous, and free. If not with me, then where ever she is and with whoever she chooses. I want for her what I want for myself. All I ever want was for her to be more fully herself.
Read More 90.1: A Perspective on C (Part 1 of 2)
89: Road Warrior
Many people would run for their own reasons. Many people run from their humiliations and anxiety. Me? I’m staying to face my humiliations, anxiety, and failure.
That takes courage and honesty.
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2 Days: It’s all Hertz
The justification and rationalization for hating C are always easy to find. The brain is a rationalizing, justifying, negative thought manufacturing machine broadcasting thoughts at 50 hertz.
Read More 2 Days: Magic Brain Hertz
I’ve made a lot mistakes since discovery day, 126 days ago. I may not be doing it perfectly but I’ve been doing it.
Read More 22 Days
On a shallow level, I believe C is ending the relationship because of my infidelity and secrets. However, at my core? At my core, I believe C is ending the relationship because I am not worthy of being loved.
That is an emotionally messed up way of interacting with the people that love you.
Read More No More Mixed Messages: I Love You, Go Away (Part I)