101.2: Unringing the Bell (Part 2 of 5)

101.2: Unringing the Bell (Part 2 of 5) – Let’s Be Clear

We cannot talk about this if we don’t talk about this.

101.1: Unringing the Bell (Part 1 of 5)

101: Unringing the Bell (1 of 5) – No excuse

There is not a way back after the first act. I cannot unring the bell no matter how many lies I tell or secrets I keep about my betrayal.

And I had many of both.

92: No More Guessing

92: No more guessing

I am trying to make sense of all of this. Maybe it is just me. Maybe she didn’t know.

It feels like there is more.

I live carrying all the emotional weight every day…wondering wakes me up at night.

Best of 2018’s Week 19

2018W19: Best Of

These are my personal favorite message, Tweets, memes, and posts from Week 19 of 2018.

91: Hard Week

I simply want to stop waking up in the morning and looking for her in the bed next to me. I want to stop feeling the loss of her trust, love, body, and companionship. I want to be done with her…

Holding Back by Fridays Guest Writer (04)

Did my affair happen because of loneliness or fate? Maybe due to love of sex or to my lack of sex. I’m not sure which drove me to cheat; but to this day, I still cheat and have no regrets.

90.2: A Perspective on C (Part 2 of 2)

I’m still left to guess at C’s motivations. However, at this point at least I have some perspective and knowledge.

90.1: A Perspective on C (Part 1 of 2)

I want C to be happy, joyous, and free. If not with me, then where ever she is and with whoever she chooses. I want for her what I want for myself. All I ever want was for her to be more fully herself.

89: Road Warrior

Many people would run for their own reasons. Many people run from their humiliations and anxiety. Me? I’m staying to face my humiliations, anxiety, and failure.

That takes courage and honesty.

88: K

I made the decision to spend time with K. My betrayal of C, and the subsequent behaviors and the betrayal of K are inexorably linked. One betrayal cannot exist without the other.