108: Never Not Broken

The weight of all of these losses and feelings finally broke me this week. I feel nothing but sadness, loneliness, despair, and emptiness today.

I have nothing to offer anyone. Not even myself. I’m hollow now.

106: The Mighty

“Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.”

I often wonder what keeps relationships going when, on the surface, it seems like there is so much going against them.

A Christmas Samaritan by Friday’s Guest Writer (08)

She truly is Mighty.

101.5: Unringing the Bell (Epilogue)

101.5: Unringing the Bell (5 of 5) – Epilogue

As my life with C fades to a distant and ringing echo I will move forward with intention. The lessons remain.

I’m excited about the possibilities.

101.3: Unringing the Bell (Part 3 of 5)

101.3: Unringing the Bell (3 of 5) – The Human Beings

I’ve talked about C and K in fairly abstract terms. I need to take some time and clarify details on those relationships as I see them.

I want you to see them as people too.

101.2: Unringing the Bell (Part 2 of 5)

101.2: Unringing the Bell (Part 2 of 5) – Let’s Be Clear

We cannot talk about this if we don’t talk about this.

101.1: Unringing the Bell (Part 1 of 5)

101: Unringing the Bell (1 of 5) – No excuse

There is not a way back after the first act. I cannot unring the bell no matter how many lies I tell or secrets I keep about my betrayal.

And I had many of both.

91: Hard Week

I simply want to stop waking up in the morning and looking for her in the bed next to me. I want to stop feeling the loss of her trust, love, body, and companionship. I want to be done with her…

88: K

I made the decision to spend time with K. My betrayal of C, and the subsequent behaviors and the betrayal of K are inexorably linked. One betrayal cannot exist without the other.

85: Running Away

85: Running Scared

I only know what the trolls’ think. I will never know what C feels or thinks because, like so much of my relationship, she lacks the courage and willingness to tell me. That gives her power.