151: Thoughts on Cruelty

Cruelty is cheap, easy, and chickenshit. – Brene Brown, Dare to Lead

143: Silence – Day 34

I’m looking to answer the central question Dr. Madden asks in her book, After A Good Man Cheats, “Do u really want ur relationship back, or r u simply panicking & doing the things u think u r supposed to do?”

128.03: Mostly Last Thoughts on Interlopers and Rumormongers

Targets are stuck between a rock and a hard place, right where the Narcissist wants them to be, damned if they defend themselves and damned if they don’t BUT basically isolated and defenseless.

Gregory Zaffuto

After Narcissistic Abuse

109: Blah. Blah. Blah.

“Trying to affair-proof your relationship is a fool’s errand. You will be far happier if you focus on affair proofing yourself and keeping your expectations on your partner realistically human.”

101.5: Unringing the Bell (Epilogue)

101.5: Unringing the Bell (5 of 5) – Epilogue

As my life with C fades to a distant and ringing echo I will move forward with intention. The lessons remain.

I’m excited about the possibilities.

101.3: Unringing the Bell (Part 3 of 5)

101.3: Unringing the Bell (3 of 5) – The Human Beings

I’ve talked about C and K in fairly abstract terms. I need to take some time and clarify details on those relationships as I see them.

I want you to see them as people too.

101.2: Unringing the Bell (Part 2 of 5)

101.2: Unringing the Bell (Part 2 of 5) – Let’s Be Clear

We cannot talk about this if we don’t talk about this.

101.1: Unringing the Bell (Part 1 of 5)

101: Unringing the Bell (1 of 5) – No excuse

There is not a way back after the first act. I cannot unring the bell no matter how many lies I tell or secrets I keep about my betrayal.

And I had many of both.

85: Running Away

85: Running Scared

I only know what the trolls’ think. I will never know what C feels or thinks because, like so much of my relationship, she lacks the courage and willingness to tell me. That gives her power.

82: The Elephant

This morning at 8:00 am CST I am facing my fears, anxieties, and humiliations. Anxiety wants me to hide so I’ve decided to do the opposite. I’m going to treat Anxiety like the bully it is: I’m going to punch it in the nose.