101.2: Unringing the Bell (Part 2 of 5)

101.2: Unringing the Bell (Part 2 of 5) – Let’s Be Clear

We cannot talk about this if we don’t talk about this.

101.1: Unringing the Bell (Part 1 of 5)

101: Unringing the Bell (1 of 5) – No excuse

There is not a way back after the first act. I cannot unring the bell no matter how many lies I tell or secrets I keep about my betrayal.

And I had many of both.

97.1: I Contain Multitudes (Part 1 of 2)

97.1: I Contain Multitudes (1 of 2)

We are all self-made blind to the kaleidoscope of wants, needs, and desires of the people around us. To see them more fully is to see ourselves more truthfully and honestly.

Holding Back by Fridays Guest Writer (04)

Did my affair happen because of loneliness or fate? Maybe due to love of sex or to my lack of sex. I’m not sure which drove me to cheat; but to this day, I still cheat and have no regrets.

90.2: A Perspective on C (Part 2 of 2)

I’m still left to guess at C’s motivations. However, at this point at least I have some perspective and knowledge.

90.1: A Perspective on C (Part 1 of 2)

I want C to be happy, joyous, and free. If not with me, then where ever she is and with whoever she chooses. I want for her what I want for myself. All I ever want was for her to be more fully herself.

85: Running Away

85: Running Scared

I only know what the trolls’ think. I will never know what C feels or thinks because, like so much of my relationship, she lacks the courage and willingness to tell me. That gives her power.

84: Exist In The Moment (One more thought)

This is the only path to rediscovering my self-respect and power. It is the only path to transform myself and my life.

More vulnerability, not less, is the only path to my heart.

57: Anxiety Disorder is a Thing

In truth, I have an anxiety disorder. Anxiety has been killing me for 123 days. Chest pains, sleeplessness, nightmares, and fear constantly hound me. The trolling certainly hasn’t helped.

I hate admitting it is an issue. “Anxiety is for women. Real men don’t get anxious,” my Pride tells me.

57: Anxiety Disorder is a Thing

In truth, I have an anxiety disorder. Anxiety has been killing me for 123 days. Chest pains, sleeplessness, nightmares, and fear constantly hound me. The trolling certainly hasn’t helped.

I hate admitting it is an issue. “Anxiety is for women. Real men don’t get anxious,” my Pride tells me.