90.2: A Perspective on C (Part 2 of 2)

I’m still left to guess at C’s motivations. However, at this point at least I have some perspective and knowledge.

90.1: A Perspective on C (Part 1 of 2)

I want C to be happy, joyous, and free. If not with me, then where ever she is and with whoever she chooses. I want for her what I want for myself. All I ever want was for her to be more fully herself.

89: Road Warrior

Many people would run for their own reasons. Many people run from their humiliations and anxiety. Me? I’m staying to face my humiliations, anxiety, and failure.

That takes courage and honesty.

85: Running Away

85: Running Scared

I only know what the trolls’ think. I will never know what C feels or thinks because, like so much of my relationship, she lacks the courage and willingness to tell me. That gives her power.

Why

I’m still not sure I have a real answer why I betrayed C. I’m not sure I will ever be able to provide a personally or socially satisfactory answer to the question.

Betrayal: Narcissists and other ghost stories

Sure there are monsters, but in truth, most of what we are calling monster behavior is simply someone doing something stupid for stupid and innocent reasons. It’s just poor judgment, not pathological.

There are actually very few monsters.