47: Broken Knights and other fishy tales

“You either die a hero or live long enough to become a villain.” – Harvey Dent

It’s ironic when I was lying and secret-keeping my infidelity was slowly killing me and when the truth came out it destroyed my life. Now that I’ve embraced being secret free and open people want me to shut up and keep secrets.

46: This is the power of shame

The criminalization of infidelity encourages more secret keeping. Criminalization behavior won’t stop infidelities from happening but it does reinforce shame forcing more hiding, trickle truth, and secret keeping.

44: Jealousy

I awoke from a nightmare at 4 am. C was dating again. Dancing with another man. Laughing at me. Mocking me. Flashing the smile I love towards another man. Ignoring me but still watching me.

I woke up jealous. Tearful. Heartbroken.

44: Jealousy

I awoke from a nightmare at 4 am. C was dating again. Dancing with another man. Laughing at me. Mocking me. Flashing the smile I love towards another man. Ignoring me but still watching me.

I woke up jealous. Tearful. Heartbroken.

43: Thoughts on the Diagnosis De Jour: Narcissism by Dolly Allen

“True pathological narcissism has always been rare and remains so: It affects an estimated 1 percent of the population, and that prevalence hasn’t changed demonstrably since clinicians started measuring it.” – Psychology Today

41: Projecting Pain

I followed her to learn but you cannot learn from the perpetually righteous and angry.

34: You Asked, I'll Try to Answer

“We do not see things as they are,” wrote Anaïs Nin, “we see them as we are.” And so it is when contemplating and discussing my infidelity and betrayal with those closest to me.

33: Thought on the Pursuer-Distancer Dynamic (Part 2)

I’m not pursuing approval, forgiveness, acceptance or understanding. I’m pursuing my life.

30: A Novel Idea

I want you to be happy and successful. I want you to find the Partner you deserve, need and want. If you can’t talk to me like you love me, would you try to talk about me like I’m someone you loved once and loved you?

29: Distractions

Recently, I let unqualified, biased and angry people with self-serving goals get in my head and turn the screws yesterday. I made a mistake and it bit me in the ass. I allowed myself to be distracted and ended up with other people defining me with more misguided armchair psychology. Clearly, mistakes are for other […]