Love Letters to a Healing Heart
"Be not the slave of your own past – plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience, that shall explain and overlook the old." – Ralph Waldo Emerson
“You either die a hero or live long enough to become a villain.” – Harvey Dent
It’s ironic when I was lying and secret-keeping my infidelity was slowly killing me and when the truth came out it destroyed my life. Now that I’ve embraced being secret free and open people want me to shut up and keep secrets.
Read More 47: Broken Knights and other fishy tales“You either die a hero or live long enough to become a villain.” – Harvey Dent
It’s ironic when I was lying and secret-keeping my infidelity was slowly killing me and when the truth came out it destroyed my life. Now that I’ve embraced being secret free and open people want me to shut up and keep secrets.
Read More 47: Broken Knights and other fishy talesThe criminalization of infidelity encourages more secret keeping. Criminalization behavior won’t stop infidelities from happening but it does reinforce shame forcing more hiding, trickle truth, and secret keeping.
Read More 46: This is the power of shameI awoke from a nightmare at 4 am. C was dating again. Dancing with another man. Laughing at me. Mocking me. Flashing the smile I love towards another man. Ignoring me but still watching me.
I woke up jealous. Tearful. Heartbroken.
Read More 44: JealousyI awoke from a nightmare at 4 am. C was dating again. Dancing with another man. Laughing at me. Mocking me. Flashing the smile I love towards another man. Ignoring me but still watching me.
I woke up jealous. Tearful. Heartbroken.
Read More 44: Jealousy“True pathological narcissism has always been rare and remains so: It affects an estimated 1 percent of the population, and that prevalence hasn’t changed demonstrably since clinicians started measuring it.” – Psychology Today
Read More 43: Thoughts on the Diagnosis De Jour: Narcissism by Dolly AllenSince this began I’ve made two commitments to myself. First of all, no more secrets. Secondly, I’d respect C’s personal space. This past weekend I broke the latter commitment and as a result created a secret.
Read More 42: ResetI followed her to learn but you cannot learn from the perpetually righteous and angry.
Read More 41: Projecting PainI’ve learned a lot about how people respond to betrayal and secret keeping.
Here is the bottom line: Love and stay. Love and leave. There is no wrong answer.
Regardless, love yourself.
Read More 40: Reflections at 100 DaysI’ve asked her to accept and love me despite my ugly. I am committed to providing her the same acceptance and compassion. I can do this whether she loves me or not. Acting lovingly does not require anyone’s consent or approval.
The reality is at this point in my grieving process, I recognize there is no such thing as a moral high ground.
Read More 39: My Ugly
Love Letters to a Healing Heart 
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