Love Letters to a Healing Heart
"Be not the slave of your own past – plunge into the sublime seas, dive deep and swim far, so you shall come back with self-respect, with new power, with an advanced experience, that shall explain and overlook the old." – Ralph Waldo Emerson
I’ve learned a lot about how people respond to betrayal and secret keeping.
Here is the bottom line: Love and stay. Love and leave. There is no wrong answer.
Regardless, love yourself.
Read More 40: Reflections at 100 DaysI’ve asked her to accept and love me despite my ugly. I am committed to providing her the same acceptance and compassion. I can do this whether she loves me or not. Acting lovingly does not require anyone’s consent or approval.
The reality is at this point in my grieving process, I recognize there is no such thing as a moral high ground.
Read More 39: My UglyI’ve asked her to accept and love me despite my ugly. I am committed to providing her the same acceptance and compassion. I can do this whether she loves me or not. Acting lovingly does not require anyone’s consent or approval.
The reality is at this point in my grieving process, I recognize there is no such thing as a moral high ground.
Read More 39: My UglyToday I watched in real time as a ghost story grew. Someone on Twitter shared that, after 16 years, her husband announced to her today he is moving out. She was distraught and reached out online for support and encouragement. She was sent a few kind words and hearts but then the conversation turned on a simple three letter word: why.
Read More 38: Twitter's Ghost StoriesI’m going to be in The City of Bridges next week. While in Pittsburgh every bridge will be a reminder of where I am heading next. It will serve as a reminder of where I have been and where I am going. I’m finished pursuing forgiveness, acceptance, or love, regardless of what my broken heart wants.
Read More 37: April 22“What is most healing about bearing witness to things exactly as they are, including my own part in my pain, is that when the voice of the pain fits the pain, there is no room for Distortion or Illusion. And this way, truth becomes a clean bandage that heals, keeping dirt out of the wound.” – Mark Nepo
Read More 36: Cleaning out the woundReading post after post about what happens post-discovery almost no one acts well. Everything in this situation is ugly. I made it uglier.
Read More 35.3: No More Mixed Messages: The Benefit of Hindsight (Part III)The meaning and lessons of my infidelity are not black and white. The post-infidelity choices are not black and white. The pain is not black and white. The solutions are not black and white.
Read More 35.2: No More Mixed Messages: Breaking Patterns (Part II)On a shallow level, I believe C is ending the relationship because of my infidelity and secrets. However, at my core? At my core, I believe C is ending the relationship because I am not worthy of being loved.
That is an emotionally messed up way of interacting with the people that love you.
Read More 35.1: No More Mixed Messages: I Love You, Go Away (Part I)“We do not see things as they are,” wrote Anaïs Nin, “we see them as we are.” And so it is when contemplating and discussing my infidelity and betrayal with those closest to me.
Read More 34: You Asked, I'll Try to Answer
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