Every holiday season Painter gives me another gift. Even if I don’t always want it.
The Monday before Christmas, I got another helping of Painter’s gaslighting and triangulating.
Hurt people hurt people, right?
Painter’s recent statements during her testimony continued to open my eyes to the depth of her entitlement and her dangerous, and rigid approach to her discomfort and the people that disappoint her.
Don’t misunderstand, I’m not an idiot. I’m well aware that my infidelity, secrets, and escalating series of lies may not have been something Painter wanted. I recognize they may have been painful and reopened old and unconscious wounds while creating new ones for her.
I say, “probably” because Beatrix claims the first thing Painter said was, “Good, I was looking for a reason to kick him out.” As such, based on what Painter has claimed and done since the reveal, she is super happy with how things have turned.
As someone remind me this week, if Painter wanted something different, she would have done something different. A comment with layers of weight while also being a misleading and oversimplified sentiment.
A sentiment I also understand just as I understand why people lie and keep secrets to make themselves look a certain way in an attempt to avoid the discomfort of looking at themselves. Painter is dangerous for me specifically because she doesn’t seem to care. I believed I was the asshole, I never expected her too be one too. I’ve learned a lot in the last four Christmases about other people.
However, I’m not ungrateful. Painter’s gift is really a reminder to myself that she has secrets and lies too. I’m reminded I owe her nothing but time and distance.
Although, now that I write that I realize, time and distance is my gift to myself. Painter is just the pretty wrapping paper.