01: A Love Letter to the Betrayers

It seems I’m compelled to write to the men and women that betrayed their Loves, lives, and selves directly.

149: Thoughts on They Cheat Because Their Souls Were Starving (Oh Brother) by SpaghettiSam

SpaghettiSam asks, “What has changed in this person so that the next time a crisis occurs or they aren’t feeling loved and special they don’t opt to go fuck another person?”

Good question.

147: Thoughts on Weeping in Walmart: A Twitter Conversation

Shit can turn on a dime.

146: Thoughts on The Marriage of the Princess and the Dragon

I long for the chance to show C what is under the armor. I long for the chance to explore what C and I could create together…but that life is dead.

137.01 Remember

Seven years in a few seconds. She laughed. She smiled. She loved me. I loved her.

What did she love about me? I brought this out in her?

132: Nepo’s Elves

If you only see me because of what I’ve written, or because of what others have said, or because of what you think of my betrayal, you don’t really see me.

You never have.

113: Thoughts on All that we are not by Mark Nepo

113: All that we are not

You cannot be vulnerable and safe. Vulnerability is (risk + uncertainty + emotional openness). By definition, safety is to be free of risk and uncertainty. They just cannot exist in the same spiritual space.

108: Never Not Broken

The weight of all of these losses and feelings finally broke me this week. I feel nothing but sadness, loneliness, despair, and emptiness today.

I have nothing to offer anyone. Not even myself. I’m hollow now.

107: Hope and Envy

106: Hope and Envy

I want to be done caring or remembering or feeling. Yet hope and romanticism continue mocking my desire to let go. They dances through my dreams.

106: The Mighty

“Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.”

I often wonder what keeps relationships going when, on the surface, it seems like there is so much going against them.