40: A Moment of Truth

When the longing unexpectedly blooms for C, I need not fear the sting from the hidden bee but remember that alongside C my life blossomed and flowed into a new season. Though the season has passed what I reap in this season is based on what I sowed in the last.

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108: Never Not Broken

108: Never Not Broken

The weight of all of these losses and feelings finally broke me this week. I feel nothing but sadness, loneliness, despair, and emptiness today.

I have nothing to offer anyone. Not even myself. I’m hollow now.

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106: The Mighty

106: The Mighty

“Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.” 

I often wonder what keeps relationships going when, on the surface, it seems like there is so much going against them.

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60: Why

I’m still not sure I have a real answer why I betrayed C. I’m not sure I will ever be able to provide a personally or socially satisfactory answer to the question.

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44: Jealousy

I awoke from a nightmare at 4 am. C was dating again. Dancing with another man. Laughing at me. Mocking me. Flashing the smile I love towards another man. Ignoring me but still watching me.

I woke up jealous. Tearful. Heartbroken.

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