During Week 2 of Affair Recovery's Hope for Healing's seventeen week program the participants are asked to answer the question, "How did I get here?" and read it to the small group. Below is my response.
By deferring to my intentions I am essentially saying, "Yes I hear you hurt, but you shouldn't hurt because that wasn't my intention." It carries the same intentions when someone say, "If you really cared you wouldn't have cheated."
There was a great deal of beautiful qualities in my relationship with my ex...but she is not the flower. She is not the reason it was beautiful. She is not the blossom or the tree. Our life was beautiful and it bloomed because that was the season and we both contributed to the season.. Our life together blossomed because it was our choice. Now it's time for a different choice.
"Change happens one funeral at a time." At the time we were talking politics. However, in the years since I heard her say that I've come to appreciate this truth.