24: And that’s that

I packed up everything and moved to Pittsburgh last week. I don’t see myself ever going back. I don’t want to be here but none the less I am.

And that’s that…

23: More of This and Lots of That

For nearly a year I gave away my Power and self-respect to Silence. I know what needs to be done.

Maybe I always knew but lacked the willingness to face it.

22: The Protector and symbolism

Heroes are expendable. When it was hard she left and never looked back.

I’m done being anyone’s Hero. I’ve paid my dues. I want to be a King to a Queen. I’m not disposable.

It is her loss.

21: A Reality Check with the Good Doctor

I am willing to accept far less than I offer in exchange for being loved, to be important to someone. I was willing to do the work – mine and hers – and avoided bringing my needs and wants of the Partnership. I acted as if I wasn’t as important as her.

20: A Letter from the Good Doctor

I acted in ways involving plenty of shitheadery but it pales in comparison to the shit our imaginations make up to keep us locked in fear in an attempt to keep us safe.

Thoughts on Ghosting by Esther Perel

When I saw Esther Perel’s continuum summarizing a Relationship Accountability Spectrum, I was like, “Holy FUCK! Ghosting?! That is exactly what has happened over the last year! That is what she did! That is how I feel and behave! I’m not crazy or irrational!”

Thoughts on Ghosting by Esther Perel

19: When infidelity is loving

I’m left to lie to myself so that I can remain angry enough to justify not caring any longer. It requires maintaining a general apathy towards my own truth, and a casual dismissal of my heart, and therefore to my life.

Thoughts on Mark Nepo and the Snappening

Today, I am feeling the entire weight of my xp’s snappening.

As Mark Nepo writes below, “rejection and opposition are painful, but being treated as if you don’t exist is quietly devastating.”

17: Broken Promises

My vow was simple: I’ll take any slings and arrows. I promise I’ll be there. We are partners and I’ll always share everything I have with you. I’ll protect you and keep you safe.

My vow came with a white horse and silver bullets for every problem.