22: Broken

How can I hope for her forgiveness when I cannot forgive myself?

21: Drinking from the firehose

This is the gift of infidelity: it makes you stare into the mirror and see all the truths about yourself. Some are ugly. Some are bad. Some are good. All of them are important. Unfortunately, early in the process of addressing an infidelity, getting perspective is like drinking from a firehose.

20: Zero Sum Love

You are, however, not perfect. But neither is anyone else.

19: Running Silent

As she knows, she is the only one that owns my heart and has been since the day we met. Almost every moment since we met I’ve acted that way and anything else is a ghost story.

17: Thoughts on Why Rock Bottom is a Powerful Place by Lisa Arends

Originally posted on Lessons From the End of a Marriage:
Rock Bottom. A place that brings dread. That no one would choose to visit. And yet it is also a place of mysterious power. That allows us to tap into the power within ourselves. Because when you’re at Rock Bottom you have… Nothing to Lose…

16: Well, that’s a pain

When I embrace my pain, instead of treating it like the enemy, it becomes the doorway to wholeness. Which is all I ever wanted.

15: Narcissists and other ghost stories

Sure there are monsters, but in truth, most of what we are calling monster behavior is simply someone doing something stupid for stupid and innocent reasons. It’s just poor judgment, not pathological.

There are actually very few monsters.

14: Thoughts on the Pros and Cons of a Disappearing Act by Lisa Arends

Originally posted on Lessons From the End of a Marriage:
Being abandoned sucks. The shock alone is enough to stop your heart. And then, once it starts beating again, all you want to to is yell at your so-called partner who thought it was acceptable to simply walk away with no notice and no dialog. It…

14: Thoughts on the Pros and Cons of a Disappearing Act by Lisa Arends

13: Thoughts on Punishment and Consequences

I need to stop letting my guilt limit my choices and actions. I need to stop seeing C’s acts of jealousy, anger, and revenge as simply a consequence of my infidelity but a choice she is making about how to punish me because of her feelings of jealousy, anger, revenge, and pain.