59: Thoughts on Kindness and Toxicity

Painter is unsafe and dangerous for me because I struggle to see her for what she does. I sometimes forget how skillful — and willing — she is at getting other people to carry her water.

Lessons From a Black Friday: Year Four

Four years and time marches on.

40: Coping with the Stories

It would be great if I could simply not do it again. If the wounds, trauma, pain, and anxiety hiding behind infidelity would simply go away. Disappear as if they never existed or as if they belonged to someone else.

63: Pursuing Vulnerability

What matters is my commitment to change and not what others think of my intentions or motivations. I get up every morning and ask myself, “What is my truth to own today?”

13: A Love Letter to the Betrayers – Safety

Feelings are data, not directives.

11: A Love Letter to the Betrayers: The Monsters

Sure there are monsters, but in truth, most of what we are calling monster behavior is simply someone doing something stupid for stupid and innocent reasons. It’s just poor judgment, not pathological.

There are actually very few monsters.

57: My Favorite Ex-Wife

Let’s talk about my ex-wife.

56: Things I Carry – Tending My Secret Garden

A man cannot live one life fully split between two moments, two gardens. Inevitably they both will be overtaken with weeds. As I continue to tend my garden I recognize we reap what we sow. There are still weeds in my garden. There will always be weeds and they are my weeds.

I planted these. I will tend to them.

55: Try This Again Shall We?

It is time do something different. Failure is feedback, not prophesy. This is my rock now. I’ll go push it alone.

Tag: Esther Perel