14: A Love Letter to the Betrayers – Intent vs Impact

By deferring to my intentions I am essentially saying, “Yes I hear you hurt, but you shouldn’t hurt because that wasn’t my intention.” It carries the same intentions when someone say, “If you really cared you wouldn’t have cheated.”

14: A Love Letter to the Betrayers – Intent vs Impact

35: Say Something

I feel like I am finally closing the door on this experience and moving forward. The conversation reminded me again, like my marriage to K and my relationship with C, I am more than the sum of my betrayal.

Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: Moving Closer (Part 5)

If I love you too often I’m conflict avoidant. An uncomfortable pattern with family relationships and romantic relationships.

There are reasons for that right?

26: Thoughts on Triggers

Here is the thing: if I want to be less trigger-happy (triggery? triggered?) I need to deal with my shit. Me. No one else.

Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: Winners and Losers (Part 4)

Long before I have a conflict with others I have conflict within myself. Who wins? Who loses?

I create my own reality and therefore I’ve created the conflict.

Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: Lawyer Mode (Part 3)

I see in the situation of infidelity, there will never be agreement about my intentions, motivations, or reasonableness but Buck is challenging us to discover what we can “create together.” To focus on the solution and not “fall into countless volleys of ‘you said…I said’ back and forth.” This unskillful approach “usually increases tension and decreases connection.”

Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: Intentions, Not Excuses (Part 2)

Intentions don’t matter when u r bleeding out emotionally. There is no room for nuance when performing emotional triage on your identity and life.

Thoughts on Conflict Transformation: The Pattern (Part 1)

As I read and begun to have an understanding of Brown’s intentions, I started to recognize how foreign these concepts are to my life…and why.

Like pain, I have to learn how to make conflict my friend.

17: Broken Promises

My vow was simple: I’ll take any slings and arrows. I promise I’ll be there. We are partners and I’ll always share everything I have with you. I’ll protect you and keep you safe.

My vow came with a white horse and silver bullets for every problem.