40: Coping with the Stories

It would be great if I could simply not do it again. If the wounds, trauma, pain, and anxiety hiding behind infidelity would simply go away. Disappear as if they never existed or as if they belonged to someone else.

39: Responding to Smear Campaigns

Until Chef pointed out the danger and threats inherent in the actions of the Flying Monkeys I didn’t fully appreciate the violent intentions lurking beneath their deeds and stories. I do now.

36: The Wedding Rings

I recognize that Beatrix was addressing her discomfort by not wearing the wedding rings. She was responding to her distress as she experienced it even when she couldn’t name it.

I get that.

22: A Love Letter to Betrayers – Discomfort (Part 2)

Apparently, among other things, lying, cheating, and carrying secrets feels like food poisoning.

19: A Love Letter to Betrayers – More on Anger

Here is the reality, dig down a bit, and beneath all Painter’s cuntishness is pain. I know it isn’t personal, except where I make it so.

28: Anger Management

Betraying my wife is not a mindful approach to anger. It reflected a lack of boundaries and a mistake in how I approach feelings I find difficult.

18: A Love Letter to Betrayers – Imagining Shame

Ghost stories are not based on the realities of my actions but simply imaginings of my intentions intended to slave me to the mast of someone else’s emotional shipwreck. Letting shame go will cut you from the mast and make you the captain of your own destiny.

22: Singing to Monsters

When all else fails, try therapy.

20: 99 Problems

These feelings do not mean what I think they mean. Pain is not the enemy. These stories I imagine about how I feel are just opinions with embellishments.

19: Opinions

Today I recognize my choices for what they were—an unfortunate and unskillful habit of treating how I felt like a directive. I realize how often, in intimate and vulnerable relationships, I responded with a habituated neurological urge to pursue what I considered comfortable feelings while avoiding the discomfort.